Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series 'Coming home' entitled 'Lycee de Vientiane[1]'

Hakphaang,

Lycee de Vientiane

I went to the Lycee in 1971

It was the same school

My dad used to go

Over 30 years before

Then it was called College de Pavie[2]

Being from the small public school

Kind of in the countryside - Thadeua[3]

Intimidated I was

With the city folks

Looking smart in everything

At that time

I was fourteen

Kind a year older

Than most of my classmates

Still I figured out

With eight years of Lycee

If I passed every school year

I would graduate when I was twenty-two

And then adding eight more years

Studying in France

Following the footsteps of my dad

I would receive a ph. D at the age of thirty

The right age to work and settle down

Wishfully

If all went as planned

I wanted to be in charge of the education

Or foreign affairs

Being that

The former was what my heart resided

And the latter because of a place in history

Hardly did I realize

It was just a pure dream

But still it was a dream

Pushing me forward

Who knows

With my strong urge for knowledge

Persistent quest for truth

And passionate love of the country

My dream would become true

Some way somehow

Then out of nowhere

The old regime began to crumble

Not a few of my classmates

Left the country for good

In their place

Came the new guards

A pride of the new regime

This new breed

Some recruited from the old regime itself

Was more than people in the right mind

Could swallow

On what counts

Did they think of themselves

As a superior breed

Dictating fellow students' lives?

All their acts dedicated to the revolution

As they seemed

Not thinking of their own benefit as they appeared

Were but subtle ploys robbing decent fellow students

Of their rightful place

No wonder

When it was time to pick

Candidates to study abroad

Where the future of the country resides

Their do-gooders had booked all the vacant slots

Leaving nothing but stung positions

To their hard study fellows

Not sure myself

What kind of society

The new regime helped create?

If it is a society full of pretenses

Why wasted the precious Lao blood

Fighting for so long?

Why depleted all the country resources

Chasing the Lao youth and educated away?

And why dragged this school standard of excellence

To a pitiful status of mediocrity?

Lycee de Vientiane

My dream my hope

If I have one thing to ask

It will be

Why me?

Why my generation?

Sad indeed

To the many disappointed parents

Whose only hope rested on their children

Studying hard days and nights

Painfully indeed

To see our potential thwart

At the early age

And chilled to our hearts indeed

To witness the perpetual cycle of defeat

Depravity and hopelessness

Befalling to our beloved country

And we could do nothing

Lycee

If there is one thing bestowing on us

More precious than anything else

It isn't the superior complex embedded in us

It isn't the intellectual height we could command

Or it isn't even the place great as it may be

But it is the role we Lycean have to play in society

Given what we got

Irrespectively of our status in society or whereabouts

With this gem

Fellow Lycean

Either with a blue or a green tag on our shirt and blouse

Let's join our hands

Heralding our school

And our country to a place

We're all capable of

9.15.03

Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series 'Coming home' entitled 'my student days at the Lycee'

Hakphaang,

My student days at the Lycee

It is my tendency to keep

Coming back to my days at the Lycee

It was here

My dad wanted me to follow his footsteps

To study abroad

It was no where else

My mom wanted me to go as high as I could

For the education she was deprived of

And it was this educational establishment

My brothers and sisters looked up at me

For the footsteps to follow on

Yes if I followed the herds

Like many obviously did

Pretending to be what they were not

I would have made my educational path

Much easier smoother

And more acceptable to the power-that-be

Wouldn't say

The pretense of the avant guarde disgusted me

Though I had seen more than enough

I couldn't help to wonder

What is the purpose of education?

Just to survive and come out on top at any cost?

What about truth and justice

Aren't there any places for them any more?

Wasn't the revolution supposed

To bring down the bad

And replace it with the good?

Or is this just another seize of power

For power's sake?

Nothing more and nothing less

I remember

At the time when Vietnam and Cambodia

The two Communists brothers-in-arms

Engaged in a slander of one another

Everyone was eerily quiet

Our teacher - a leftover from the old regime

Anxious to get us talk about the world events

To bring excitement to the dull class

Encouraged us to voice our view

Being true to myself

I got up and told the story I heard from the BBC broadcast

About the incoming war between Cambodia and Vietnam

To be perfectly honest

The class was not quite at ease

Hearing the feud between the Communist countries

Supposedly in love with one another

More to the point

It was scary to hear this news in the classroom

From someone like me

A supposedly new person

The revolutionary youth looked at me with distrust

And there I saw the seed of my own destruction

With that went down the dream of my parents

And my future in the new Laos

A number of my classmates

Some apolitical some avowed fascists

Being politically smart

Opted to say nothing hear nothing

Not a few was rewarded to study abroad

What a regime indeed!

Looking at the Lycee again

I wish a story of mine

Wouldn't be repeated again

For it hurt not only

The person directly involved

But their parents who sacrificed so much for their kids

I sincerely hope to see

The country I dearly love

Being true to its root

Strong Lao root

Any Lao could be truly proud of

10.21.03

Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series 'Coming home' entitled 'My sister-in-law - the gracious host'

Hakphaang,

My sister-in-law - the gracious host

From the very first day in Muang Lao

Even for a short breath

They came to see me

My in-laws I couldn't do without

For the entire stay in Vientiane

They gave me wings

Taking me around the city

To the places I would like to see

To the areas I hadn't seen before

My wife's sister Senglavanh

Stuck in Laos

Not long before the family left for Thailand

Being that she had a family of her own

And a husband committed to taking care of his aging parents

She lived on

With the hope

Things would be better

At the time of my visit

She shared an apartment

With her in-law by Wat Chanh

With she and her two sons on the second floor

Her husband Ai Thongsavath

Being from LuangPrabang[1]

From a family famous for making the silverware

The court even used

Continued that tradition

For all Lao to be proud of

Once in a while

In every other month

He would come down to Vientiane

On his ship traveling between the two cities

Though not in his schedule

He came down anyway

To give me a sightseeing

Of the city I had left

Their apartment

Though quite small

With the dozens of shoes occupied the entrance door

Before the main room

Inside

The big bed crowded the room

Leaving only a small walkway

At the corner

A small refrigerator

Stood behind the dining table

While the TV set occupied another corner of the room

Outside

There was a veranda

Big enough to breathe a fresh air

Being a late summer day

I could see

Monks in their yellow robes

Busily working at the temple ground

At times

I would see people pushing their cart by

Past the old building

Past the muddy road

Long needed repaired

If not for the job at the French cultural center

With her own office and a computer to use

Everything would look grim

As the road and the building themselves

Equipped with the scooter

A contribution of the family living abroad

She dutifully took her two sons to school

One at the former Lycee

And another at the primary school

Before taking herself to work

Not far from the Lycee itself

In general

Her life looked hard

Still compared to the millions of Lao

She did have hope

A good job to hold on

A husband who loves me

A family to fall on in hard times

And two smart sons on the way

To make a make for themselves

Hang on my sister-in-law

One day

The brighter day will be shining on you

9.18.03

Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series 'Coming home' entitled 'a family of doctors'

Hakphaang,

A family of doctors

Hard to believe

So many doctors in the family

Of the four aunts

Staying behind

All of them medical doctors

The youngest one

Was about my age

Still single

Waiting for the right guy to stop by

Even those living abroad

One is a dentist

Another a former head of the national bank

And another a general in the army

Wonder

What produces such a productive family

Was told

My wife's grandpa was a chief judge

In one of the southern provinces

Legendary for his honesty

Commitment to the principles

And the love of learning

The time I visited his house

He already passed away

Leaving a big footstep

For his dutiful children to follow

Just look at them

It won't take much

To revitalize Muang Lao

If they can do it

Everyone in the right mind can

Or would this be too much to ask?

Would that be too far-fetching?

Or is it just a lack of will on our part

The supposedly leaders of the country

9.18.03