Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series 'Coming home' entitled 'with That Luang looking on'

Hakphaang,

With the last day to stay

I went to That Luang

The very place I saw the king for the last time

During one of the many of That Luang festivals

Not that I am a royalist

Luangprabang throne later became

The king of the whole newly established Laos

Was more like a thorn in my true Lao blood

Still having no connection

Whatsoever to the ancient Lao root

A big scar in all of the Lao hearts

Indeed

With a reverence in my heart

I glared at the sacred stupa

Once welcome

The Lao Hom Lao

Now a sad thing of the ever distant past

Where are those Lao?

Once proudly waved the flag

Beaming with tears in their eyes

Where all those Lao hands in hands

Walking in peace

If only Chao Saysettha

Looking down from his throne

He would see

What a fool we became

Destroying one another

Letting the hated Siamese laugh

As if we were not human beings

Capable of any decent reasoning

At all

With a bouquet of flowers

And lit incenses

Lay in front of the stupa

I pray that

Muang Lao would have

Another Lao Hom Lao

No less grander than before

If this is to be realized

All Lao would be whole and one again

In our hearts

In our souls

Like the glory era of our LanXang days

9.11.03

Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series 'Coming home' entitled 'along the shores of the Mekong River... again'

Hakphaang,

Since this is the day before last of my stay in Muang Lao

I took time to stroll

Along the shore of the Mekong River

My favorite spot by Wat Chanh

Maenam Kong today

At the midst of the rainy season

 Completely submerged the infamous DonChanh

Where lovers like to stroll hand in hand

Where the tormented Sikhot curse was still imprinted

And where at one time

The site of a poignant song

'love beyond the blade of the knife' by Ai Somsanit

With my eyes longing

At the current flowing by

I thought of

The path I took

Tortuous it was

Like the Mekong that flows uninterruptedly

Since the days of Chao FaNgum

Down to Chao Anou

And never once dried up

I too would never succumb to any odds

Insurmountable as it may be

For my own sake

For Muang Lao's sake

And for Satja itself

Walking slowly

In the land of my ancestors

Don't know

When I am going to amount to something

Will there be any chances for me left?

Or is it going to be

My kids't urn instead

Moving on where I left off?

*****

LanXang hotel

Once a site of Wat Kang

With its face to the Mekong

Looked indifferently at the pile of garbage

Stacking up at the Mekong terrace

Not far from the hotel itself

A middle aged man

Not much older than I was

Busily picking something

Worth a second look from that garbage pile

Seeing me seeing him

At first he seemed indifferent

Then mumbled something to himself

And then took off

Leaving the place

Vacant of hope

Of dream

And a life itself

With the man at the garbage pile gone

I also took off

And left the many memories cherished Mekong

Behind

9.11.03

Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series 'Coming home' entitled 'the day before the last'

Hakphaang,

With still many things to do

As this was the day to the last of my stay

 I hauled myself

To the government bookstore by the old American school

Hoping to buy some books

Quite disappointed to see

The range of selection was rather skimpy

It took me only a few minutes

To go through the whole store

While doing so

The employees were enjoying themselves

With the Thai TV unashamedly turning on

In the very sanctity of government premise

Supposedly to be pro Lao

Only at the private bookstore

by my hotel at Sailom

Did I find many more books

Enough to fill my extra suitcase

By noontime

I was picked up

To have lunch at the resort outside the city

Past Dongdok itself

This resort

Dotted with many fish pools

That you could point to

And have the fish served right at your plate

With the music on

And to my surprise

Ai KhamTeum Sanoubane

The famous singer from the old regime

Came to sing a request song

Asking what I wanted to listen

'love beyond the blade of the knife'

was what came out

from my lip

Hearing the song live

I couldn't help but thinking

Of the one who wrote it

What a sad love story

When it was time to leave

No wonder

With so many perks

Lunch was exorbitant

Close to

A hefty price indeed in Laos

Where an ordinary government employee

Could make only half of that amount

In one whole month

With the last night to spend

I opted to spend it alone

After having Larb the Lao style

From a nearby restaurant

I went to the Mekong

And sat there

Very much like 17 years ago

Before taking off to Thailand

In front of me

The river was still flowing

Above

The moon for once

Not hiding behind the clouds

Was giving off some light

A sign of hope

For the weary traveler in life like me

Don't know

How long I was there

When I was about to leave

The moon was visibly shifting its position

Would I too?

The world is so big

Is there a place for me anywhere?

Or am I beyond redemption?

Oh Mekong

Pray that

You guide me to the safe shore

For I still have much to give

To the people I love

To the country I care

With a light touch to the river

I scooped up the sacred water

Washed my face with it

And let the spirit of Naga

Run through every cell of my whole being

9.12.03